Well I’m wonderin’ ‘bout the road ahead of me
Wonderin’ ‘bout the things you said to me
Wonderin’ if these dreams will ever do
And I’m wonderin’ ‘bout the way I spend my days
Wonderin’ if it’s even worth the chase
Wonderin’ if they’re stealin’ me from you
~Wonderin’ by TobyMac on his album, Tonight
I’m wondering what’s next. I claim that I’m excited about the future. I hold onto the idea that I’m called to do what I’m about to do. I treasure the fact that this was what I thought was comfortable. But what if I don’t want to be comfortable anymore? What if the thought of living comfortably makes me uncomfortable? What do I do then? Because I think that’s where I am.
A friend told me today as I explained my future plans, “Well that makes sense. That’s what usually happens.” It was heartbreaking to hear. I don’t think she meant it as demeaning as I received it. My point is that I don’t want to do something just because it makes sense or because it feels comfortable.
I made a promise that I would not live a boring life…whatever that means.
Well, I guess you know you’re living a boring life when you have to question it